30 June 2006
27 June 2006
22 June 2006
The Cleaning Woman
Today, I met a cleaning woman that speaks 5 languages! Enlgish, French, Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. What a world we live in.
16 June 2006
We Are Ships In Harbour
"Each moment, including this one, is a place you've never been." ~Anon.
"Life is a first draft...with NO rewrite." ~Anon.
I was in Venice, Italy about a year and half ago. That city is beautiful; it just feels cozy. Anyways, it was midnight, and I was walking home with my ex-friend Sam (for short). If you've ever been to Venice you'd probably know that by midnight the city is dead. Very few people will be walking the streets past 11pm. I am not sure why.
We were walking the small Venician alleys, enjoying the atmosphere, with our gilato's in hand. Then Sam started talking. To be honest I do not recall what he was talking about. He was excited about something, so he just kept rambling on and on about it and I was just nodding... trying to enjoy the peace and silence around us in between his words. We walked out of this narrow alley and in front of was a bridge, crossing a fair size canal. It was beautiful, the moon and the buildings on the sides were reflecting off the water in the canal.
As we were crossing the bridge I noticed this Italian girl sitting on the other side of the bridge. She looked about 20. She was sitting on the edge and she had the saddest look on her face. Sam was still talking about whatever he was talking about... oblivious to the beautiful Italian girl and the moon's reflection off her tears.
We walked for about 5 mins past her, eating our gilato's. Why is she sitting on the edge like that? I was trying to sound interested in Sam's story, so I would try to say a few smart words here and there in between my nodding. We kept walking for a bit... Sam still not finished with his story... But then I had to stop!
Sam: Are you ok man?
Me: Ya ya just wait.
Sam: What's wrong?
Me: Just give me a second.
Sam: Why? what's going on?
Me: Just shut up for a bit and let me think.
Sam: hehehe. Dude what is it?
Me: Wait here.
I had this moment while I was eating my gilato. I thought to myself: I am free. I can do whatever I want. I control my life. We always have this power but yet we rarely get the courage to use it. The courage to try something we haven't done before. To rewrite our future history!
I walked back to the girl!!! She was still on the edge of the bridge looking at the moon and the water, with her tears dry on her cheek. I don't know how I started the conversation but we ended up talking for 15mins or so. She told me why she was crying and I told her that nothing is worth her tears. I purposefully did not ask for her name as I wanted her to stay in my memory that way. You know it is like when you first hear a beautiful foreign song, you think that the song must be about something so pure and noble. And then you find out what the lyrics mean and you get disapointed.
It felt great to connect with another human being with no reason at all. I had to leave because Sam was starting to make noises that sounded like swear words. We hugged, said goodbye, and she disappeared in one of the narrow Venician alleys.
"A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." ~William Shedd
12 June 2006
The Happiest 12 Hours Of My Life
OK I'm gonna look on the bright side this time... just to prove that I'm not... you know... a negative person.
So we had a few more conversations... me and my friend. I called her, made a suggestion, and it went through... it was great, we agreed on a solution. And I lived the next 12 hours of my life in pure bliss... everything was ok, there was a plan... an attempt, at least. It was an amazing state of peace of mind... there is nothing quite like it.
I should have done something with those 12 hours though... like dance around in my room, write a song or something... I should have somehow celebrated those rare and precious hours... but wait, that's not really looking on the bright side!
I was, of course, oblivious to what would happen next... complete closure of the whole thing! The suggestion is not gonna work, she said. It is not going to solve the problem. There is no solution. Maybe I agree with her... It might not work and we may end up where we are now. But what if it did work? I have no idea. Maybe it could never work. OK where is the bright side here? Oh wait... those 12 happy hours!
Listen, I am not gonna tell you about the lump in my throat, the pain my chest, the lack of sleep, my day at "work", or my utter inability to think about anything else. I am a positive person now.
I've decided... I am not going to let the circumstances guide me... I control my life and I can choose my path... Oh that flicker of hope is gonna kill me, I know it...
10 June 2006
08 June 2006
So yesterday I had another conversation with my "friend". It was huge... You know, we put everything on the table... Put all the cards on there... EVERYTHING... the misunderstandings, the guesswork, the feelings, the reservations... But I showed my cards first so I felt naked and vulnerable. Fortunately she wasn't very cruel. She didn't break my heart, I broke it myself. I had certain expectations but she was realistic... honest. This song played:
My heart is so broken,
Here I go
Trying to run ahead of that,
Heart break train,
It will never catch up with me.
I'm trying to land,
This aeroplane of ours gracefully,
But it seems just destined to crash,
It's decision time for me... After we laid everything on the table... expressed the little intricate thoughts that we had... it was suddenly time for me to make a decision. I said I need time to think... there was just too much to absorb in one night. Of course I did not sleep. My fragile mind could not handle it and I kept hallucinating in my sleep.
So in the next coming weeks I will think about every single word she said. I will think about what I said. Did I say too much? Did I leave something out? No idea. We are so helpless in this world. It's a life choice... You know there are only a few you gotta make in your life and I think this is one.
I always ask myself how can we be so delicate? How can something like this occupy me so much. I know I will be unable to function as a human being until I make a decision. Maybe I should consult someone close to me. But will they ever understand? Can I communicate what's in my head?
03 June 2006
When You Build A Bridge
A bridge is a dangerous thing. I mean it can be dangerous if it's not built properly right? I am no civil engineer but my guess is that when they design these things they do it based on PROVEN facts. You know.. formulas... science. If not theoretical formulas, then empirical ones. And if the empirical formulas are known to be a little inaccurate then a larger safety factor is used. Everything has a reason... some logic. At least they do their best to make it that way.
Now, to me, the law is dangerous as well. People's lives depend on it. It's gotta be based on proven concepts, not on beliefs. Just like bridge building is based on science and logic so should the laws that govern us. Why do we base our laws on religion? Why do we base them on just BELIEFS... like the what's in the Bible, the Quran, the Torah or even the satanic bible. Religion is between the person and their god(s) or lack thereof. Just keep it out of the system imposed on society... for God's sakes!
Unless we base our society on sources that are more definitive we'll never make it to the other side. The bridge will fail taking everyone down with it.
01 June 2006
Egyptians Vs Jews
Here are some stats...
Nobel Prizes to date: 758
Egyptians: 4 (half of which are for Peace!!)
Jewish Population: 15.5M (worldwide)
Egyptian Population: 78.9M (Egypt only)
Jews: 0.24% of the world, 22.4% of the winners
Egyptians: 1.21% of the world, 0.5% of the winners
Draw your own conclusions.