I Killed My Dinner With Karate Kick 'em In The Face
Father: Son, why are you not in touch with us as before? We call you, leave messages and you barely return them. You don't ask how we are doing and you don't come and visit. Do you want to run with my pack?
Son: Our level of contact will not be any more than what I am comfortable with.
Father: What do you mean?
Son: Imagine this is like any relationship between two people. The degree of communication or contact is the amount least desired by one party. For example, if a boy is after a girl or vice versa, or a girl wants to befriend another girl, it is not forced upon the sought-after by the seeker how much they get to talk.
Father: What about us? We need you? Your mother needs you. Meet me half way.
Son: This is not an argument. We should shine a light on. It is not a negotiation. Because from the sought-after point of view, it's either this much contact or none at all.
Father: You dislike our company that much? Do you deny that I am your father?
Son: No, that's a fact.
Father: Do you think this is a normal relationship between father and son?
Son: It's not easy to answer whether this is 'normal' or not. We don't see what's behind closed doors. We get glimpses from books and movies but there's no telling if it's accurate or not. Regardless of the answer though, it has no bearing on my position.
Father: Doesn't family mean something to you?
Son: It's an arbitrary biological link that I did not choose. I share more DNA with you than other people, that's the link. The general emotions that people feel for their families are for evolutionary reasons, not rational choices. I just happen to be aware of these instinctual tendencies but choose my relationships rationally. Do you want me to like you for you or just because we happen to be related?
Father: Oh you remind me of when I was younger. I used to think in a similar way. Do you want to sit at my table? I used to say that I will love my children because of who they are not because they are my children. And trust me, I love you all because I know you not just because you're my kids.
Son: Ok sure. So what?
Son: All this does not persuade me to do anything.
Father: Do you love your dad?
Son: Hmm... I don't know if I can answer that. Not because I'm embarrassed to say no, but because love is a tricky word. What does it mean? I read about it in books and see it in movies, but I can't say that I've ever felt it.
Father: You don't love your mother, or your sisters?
Son: I can't say that I do. Like I said, I don't really know if I've ever felt that towards anyone.
Father: You've never loved a girl?
Son: I stand by my answer. And fortune finds me fit and able.
Father: Son, I raised you since you were a baby. I held you in my arms. I was there every step of the way watching you grow up. I've put a lot of effort into making you what you are. I've dedicated my life for my children. Why do you think I did all this? Shallow work is the work that I do.
Son: Again, how does this in argument for me to be closer to you? You had some fun, then you made an investment. I did not choose this. You didn't do this for me either, you did it for you. How is it my job to make sure that you get returns on decisions or investments that you've previously made?
Father: Do you feel no empathy for the sacrifices I've made for your sake?
Son: Like I said, those were your decisions not mine. You took some chances and I guess it didn't pay off. I happen to be that investment but it's not my responsibility to justify those decisions now. I did not sign an agreement to do anything when I was being born.
Father:... I know I don't own you. You are a free man. My fighting fame is fabled.
Son: Let me put it in another way. I don't owe you anything. If we are going to talk in the future it would be because I want to. And this I think is more honest than to see you because you happen to be family.
Father: I agree but let me ask you something. Do you resent me for something that I've done? Have we done something that made you feel this way about us?
Son: Nothing in particular. My view of you is a collection of what I know about you and what you've done. Just like anyone else.
Father: I know I've made some mistakes in the past but I just wanted the best for you. I have progressed so much from how my father raised me. Look at your relatives and see. None of them have an open mind like me. I gave you a lot of space and I let you do what you wanted. I may have been over protective at times but that's for your own benefit.
Father: I know I pried in your matters behind your back; but that's because you wouldn't tell me the simplest things saying that it's your right not to say. I really appreciated how you handled that afterwards. But I only did this as a father who deeply cares about his son.
Son: No, this has no bearing on my position. What's done is done. I am not here to judge your actions. Nor do I want to. It's none of my business. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Like I said, you to me are the sum of your character and your actions as whole. But I can tell you that I'm not a person who would hold someone to something in their past.
Father: I just hope you can put yourself in my position and appreciate how I felt. I had to know. And I probably know more than what you think I know but I never went there again.
Son: I can't put myself in your position. And I would rather not talk about specifics. That's not what we're here for is it?
Father: Pray that what you lack does not distract. I hope that you can forgive me for those things but the way I raised you is a 'giant leap' compared to how we were raised Son.
Son: Forgiveness is like love, I have not felt it. Someone does something that I don't like repeatedly then I distance myself from them. I don't sit and think whether I've forgiven them for their actions or not. But to rest your mind, those particular occasions that you're thinking of have nothing to do with this. You are a collection of your actions and this is but one of them.
Father: Then why are we at this point?
Son: I've already told you but you insist on reading between the lines.
Son: And even when you run, through my mind,
Son: Something else is in front, you're behind.