My views, observations, questions about everything in this world ....and that country they call Egypt.

16 November 2007

Two Against The World

Very soon my dear. I almost can't believe it, but very soon it will happen. I can hardly wait for it to come. The moment we close our eyes and float up high. It is true that I haven't forgotten the taste of your mouth or the texture of your lips, but a memory cannot be enough. Can you picture it? I can't get it out of my head... our lips meeting again, hearing you breathe, smelling your skin, holding you...

I wanna get lost in that moment and I want nothing else on my mind... not what's around us, not the future... nothing. Let's live the moment and enjoy it. Let's not think about what is going to happen. Let's not figure things out. Let's not think about any possible goodbyes. Do you not agree that there is a human need deep inside us that seeks melancholy? Is it not seldom for people to be truly happy? And when they are don't they look for the empty half? Well let's not give in to that... please let us just enjoy the beautiful moments... they all are. Life is very precious, there is no eternal afterlife.

Dina, I wanna forget the world. I wanna immerse my senses in your being. I wanna let go of all these worldly worries and live in our own carefree universe with the sole purpose of enjoying one thing... only one. I wanna create this universe with my own arms around you. I know you are more than strong enough to face the world alone, you already have; but I can't help wanting to shield you with my arms. My arms are the universe and your shelter. I wanna smell your hair as you rest your head on my shoulder and clear your head from all that you've ever worried about in your life. Angels like you deserve that.

Though you lack the wings, you really are an angel, Dina. Your purity and innocence for one, they amaze me. Even your voice carries it. How you can be a grown up and a little kid at the same time is a puzzle for I have long since lost the kid in me. You are as transparent as an angel's apparition. And your skin carries that too! Your fragility moves something inside me that makes me wanna dedicate my life to safeguarding you. Yet I know you've got great strength inside you, stronger than I could ever be... you've already shown it. That's what an angel is to me.

Yes very soon... start parting your lips.

14 November 2007

Play Something For Your Supernatural Friends

I was in that zone between sleep and consciousness. That zone where you're conscious enough to know that you are in bed trying to sleep, yet quite a bit of dream-logic makes its way to your head. By dream-logic I mean that which makes perfect sense when you're sleeping yet no sense at all in the light of day. So, I was there, in that zone. I was hearing sounds. No, scratch that... I was hearing movement. This is something that has happened before but always turns up to be nothing. I laid in bed for maybe 5 mins contemplating whether I should let go of being in this zone to check it out or not. I really didn't want to start off my insomnia that night.

I got up looking around in my dark room for an object also suitable as a weapon. I held my acoustic guitar from the neck, almost like a bat. I opened the door just a little more for me and my guitar. I walked slowly down the hall trying to identify the source of the sound with dream-logic not completely gone from my head. I always thought I had silent footsteps, no matter the shoes... and I did not make a sound barefoot, my joints didn't even crack. I cannot describe the sound anymore than saying that it sounded like movement... or maybe movement of objects as a result of a bigger movement! The sound was coming from somewhere by the cabinet near the dinning table. From the hallway I couldn't see the cabinet or the dinning table cause they're around a corner. I'd have to actually get to the end of the hall then look to the right to see what's going on.

Let me tell you I was scared to the bone. It was clear this time that the sound was not gonna be classified under wind, ceiling fan, or mice. As I was carefully walking down the hall, I knew this was gonna be along the lines of ghost, demon, or alien... thief sounded like a best case scenario at the time. If you know me, you know that ghosts freak me out! I mean not in movies, they don't. But the thought of my teenage friend's ghost or grandma's ghost appearing to me gives me goosebumps. It is mostly scary because I don't believe in any of that stuff. See, to me, ghosts, angels, and demons don't exist, so if one of them appeared to me, it would shatter my whole logic to pieces. Aliens wouldn't scare me as much as ghosts, maybe cause they're not supernatural enough.

So there I was trying to figure out who's ghost it will be or what I'm gonna say to the alien playing with my stuff. Then a sudden adrenaline rush brought some sense into me. It must be a thief. My brain did a ctrl+F on any other possible explanations with zero results. So I decided I'm gonna be stealthy till I get to that corner, and then I'm gonna be quick and give that bastard a piece of my guitar. Remember, stealthy then quick. This is the moment everyone waits for, where they get to actually live out a scene in a movie, I thought. You know when you watch a movie and wonder what you will do if that was you? Well, I thought, this is the time were I live it out... and I'm not gonna be clumsy or stupid like all the victims the villain manages to kill. I'm gonna surprise that thing, whatever or whoever it is, it's gonna regret ever coming in here.

My primal instincts kicked in again and images of supernatural beings (mostly ghosts) popped into my head. My rational and primal reached the compromise that if it turns up to be a ghost I can scream but still put an offensive.

As I reached the end of the hall, I adjusted the grip on my guitar preparing for that switch to superhero MC, but as I did, I also plucked the high E string!! Oh Crap!

Moral of the story: Don't try to be stealthy with a musical instrument.

The strangest thing I've found in this apartment are a few envelopes with plastic bags filled with soil (tiny stones and sand)!! Any ideas?

Maybe a month ago I was out with a few friends (mostly couples) going to a cafe in Korba, Beano's I think. So after we park they guys decide that they don't like Beano's after all and settled for Chilli's. So instead of taking the car again we decide to walk it. So as we're walking to go past this small cafe that's a few steps underground... I can't remember what it's called. I glance over at the cafe and I see my good friend Dib sitting on a high chair smoking away. Now, let me tell you a little about Dib.

Dib is one of the smartest people I know. He's very thin, and he's got a boyish Sylvster Stalone look if that is at all possible. He's on the shy side. He wouldn't speak a word if there wasn't some specific meaning behind it. I've known Dib since KG and maybe earlier. He was a neighbour, a school mate and a friend. We were best friends for a long time then we happened to lose touch for a few years but managed to get back in touch last couple of years maybe. A few months ago I tried to rekindle our friendship to what it was in the old days but all I got was unreturned phone calls, so I eased off.

What started my efforts to rekindle the relationship is two things. First, I missed the old times and and longed the intellectual conversations. The second reason is a 3 hour phone call with him one late night after an instant message from him that said "i'm all freaked up man." Of course he used the other f-word. In that phone call, I'd like to think to myself that I talked him out of suicide. As for the reasons for his depression, I don't think he was/is being entirely honest.

After that call I tried keeping in touch more often but instead he was totally ignoring me. Even if you're suicidal, unreturned phone calls and messages are not altogether forgivable. So I thought that was rude and I couldn't guess the reason. I thought maybe I pushed too hard for it... maybe he felt he said too much... maybe he just doesn't like me. (why does this sound gay?). Anyways, so let's get back to my story.

I was walking by and I see him in the cafe. I asked my friends to wait up while I go in and say hi to Dib. The place was quite busy, I think it was a Thursday. Buena Vista Social Club's El Carretero was playing. We shook hands and exchanged hellos. I decided not to corner him and ask him about the now humongous number of unreturned phone calls... and he seemed to like that, he played along and never mentioned it. I saw two mugs in front of him so I guessed he was with a friend that was in the bathroom. Anyways, our conversation went like this:

Me: How have you been man?
Dib: I'm okay MC.
Me: What have you been doing lately?
Dib: You know, just busy at work... the usual problems with the folks...
Me: Ya? Anything serious?
Dib: Hmm.. Na... just had a big fight with my dad today that's all. I don't feel like going home tonight. Hey, these are your friends?

My friends were waiting and I could have said goodbye right there. But I felt that Dib was reaching out for help again. But why does he reach out then ignore me?? Maybe I just needed to feel good about myself.

Me: You know what! I never carry an extra copy of my keys but I just happen to have one cause my cousin was staying with me for a few days. Take this key and if in the next few days you're having more problems with your folks and wanna sleep over just come by. I have to go, but we'll talk later.

Moral of the story: None.