The 2nd Movement Has Too Many Violins

See this body as fragile and transient as foam.
Know that it is as insubstantial as foam,
And thereby destroy the tempter's flowery arrows,
And put yourself beyond death's grasp.

Just as a raging flood sweeps away a sleeping village,
So does death claim a man of distracted mind,
As he continually seeks more and more
Of life's fleeting pleasures.

Death drowns the unsatisfied man,
Whose restless mind clutches
For greater and greater pleasures.

~Dhammapada

We Are Damaged Provider Modules

A few days ago I had a first date set with this girl. It was a last minute thing, I had a two hour gap in my Saturday night so when we talked that day, we decided she would come over and we would hang out. About 1 hour before our date, I got a message from her saying she has to cancel! Apparently, her friend had a bad day and she had to stay with her. Ya right!

Now some people might be cool with occasional date cancellations but it seems that I have acquired some sensitivity to that over my naive romantic history. One of my noteworthy 'relationships' going back to a few years ago now was characterized by consistent, short-notice, sms-based date cancellations. And it wasn't just one or two dates I'm embarrassed to say... it was maybe 5 to 10 dates consecutively called off with a variety of excuses. I don't quite recall all of the excuses, but I know dentists, hospitals, and friends having bad days were involved. It appears that this past experience has made me a bit thin-skinned to being almost stood up like that.

This time, though, I wasn't disappointed that I wasn't gonna see the girl. I honestly don't care for her that much. I was more disappointed in myself; that I let someone cancel on me again. Now I've become very skeptical to any excuses for canceling. Excuses are complete fabrications until proven otherwise. Either she has found something better to do or she is having second thoughts about seeing me. And either scenario cannot be very good to a man's ego.

Now back to the story, I called her just to hear her put the excuse in a sentence and see if I could tell if she was sincere or not. I obviously couldn't tell, we've become very good liars these days we believe our own lies. So I just ended the call with a few short OKs. A few minutes later she sent me a message saying she felt bad but her friend really wasn't feeling well and scheduled our date to the following day. So far so good, you might think. But as I fell asleep that night, I knew I wasn't gonna see her, I knew that I didn't want to.

About 1 hour before our new date, I sent her a message -reminiscent enough of her own message to make her wonder if it's retribution, but not enough to make her certain- that I can't make it! Needless to say she freaked out, as much as can be with text messages and missed calls anyway. The most interesting of which was a message saying "i'll make it worth your while". And apparently she was already on her way. I replied back with short, polite but neutral sorrys without admitting it's on purpose. I don't think that she wanted to see me that bad, I think she just didn't want this to happen to her.

I can't say that I've enjoyed her pain/frustration. I didn't do it to get back at her. I did it to prove to myself that I don't need you, generic woman, to get off your high horse and find time in your busy schedule for me. I don't need that kind of treatment. I'm not gonna beg you to see me, in fact, you should be the one begging me.

All My Friends Are Skeletons

Disconnect Your Head

There is someone in my bed but still I felt lonely as I got up and for some reason thought of you. I just wanted you to know that as consciousness was seeping in to my head this morning so was thoughts & memories of you. I was just wondering how you were doing now and where in the world are you. I know I it's been ridiculously long since we talked but it's just what happened. I care about you and I wanna know how things are going for ya. Tell me you are ok. Tell me you figured things out. They are in the bathroom now so I gotta finish up. Maybe you meant to me more than I meant to you but even so -actually it's not a maybe, I'm sure of it now- I just hope you care enough not to leave me wondering about you like this.

And The Bitterness I Felt

Mmm, I haven't blogged in so long. Blogging just brings back so much memories it's been hard getting to this page again! But let's not talk too much about that and move on. Well, let's change gears. Here's a list of my top MUSIC turn ons :).

• One of the sexiest things a girl has done for me is take out a pen and a pad and write down the music that I liked, and yes that did happen. (I guess either I'm not getting much or I'm into music that much.)
• I love it when my favorite artists cover one another. Or when they cover a song that I really like. It's really cool when you find out that your favorite bands dig the same stuff that you do. They're tend to be hard tracks to find for some reason. For example, Radiohead covering Bjork's Unravel and Portishead's The Rip, or Bjork covering Billie Holiday's Gloomy Sunday, or Death Cab For Cutie covering a few Bjork tracks, or Damien Rice covering White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, or Lole Y Manuel covering a few Um Kalthoum tracks, or Tori Amos covering REM's Losing My Religion, or Seu Jorge covering David Bowie's Space Oddity, or Dave Matthews Band covering Bob Dylan's All Along The Watchtower, or Natacha Atlas covering Jacques Brel's Ne Me Quitte Pas, or Devendra Banhart covering Janis Joplin's Summertime. You get the idea right? If you have any recommended covers, do post.
• I love it when I talk to someone, introduce them to an artist and then find out months or years later that they've become hardcore fans of that artist. I just get this weird sexual attraction to that person once they admit that they now love that music! It hasn't happened too many times, but I've made a few Bjork, Radiohead, and Devendra Banhart fans along the way. Of course, the opposite happened a lot more.
• I get this narcissistic pleasure when I think of the tracks that I have for these obscure smalltime artists that you cannot easily find music for. Like I've found these hidden gems that few people heard. For example, Forest City Lovers, Convoj, Larkin Grimm, and Ruba Saqr. The latter is playing in Cairo with Eftekasat by the way, do check her out.
  

It's Simple We Don't Wanna Kill

One arguments that opponents of the publishing of the Danish Cartoons, and all other such media, use in Egypt is the laws against Holocaust denial/revisionism that are in effect throughout Europe. The argument goes something like this: Westerners shout free speech when we object to and oppose the publication of Danish Cartoons and Fitna, but when it comes to the Holocaust, they jail anyone who dares to even revise the number of victims. They use that to argue a worldwide global pro-Jews, anti-Islam agenda.

It has always been bothering, this alleged double-standard: You are free to speak if you're challenging Muslim beliefs but you're not free to speak if you're challenging the Holocaust. It has been bothering me for a while but never got the chance to delve into it until recently. Through a discussion with a Canadian/Jewish blogger I got the chance to dig up some info and I made sense out of it.

Here is the deal: It is not illegal to challenge Holocaust data as long as you're doing it from a historical/scientific point of view. It becomes a crime if your arguments are associated with defending these acts or advocating violence. This makes perfect sense. It is not free speech anymore if you're trying to persuade people to kill.

This is from the ISRAELI legislation:

A person who, in writing or by word of mouth, publishes any statement denying or diminishing the proportions of acts committed in the period of the Nazi regime, which are crimes against the Jewish people or crimes against humanity, with intent to defend the perpetrators of those acts or to express sympathy or identification with them, shall be liable to imprisonment for a term of five years.

AND

The publication of a correct and fair report of a publication prohibited by this Law shall not be regarded as an offence thereunder so long as it is not made with intent to express sympathy or identification with the perpetrators of crimes against the Jewish people or against humanity.

Very fair indeed!

Used To The Noose They Obey

Let's get back to the movie Fitna. I just want to document my disappointment in the Muslims' response. I surfed some blogs and sites to get a feel for the Muslim response... The reaction I found was almost unanimously rage. My disappointment is mainly because of two things:

1- I have not seen a single Muslim yet that disagrees with the movie's message but at the same time recognize Geert Wilders' freedom of speech... i.e. his right to make this movie.

2- I have not seen a verse by verse, frame by frame response to the movie from anyone. A lot accuse it of taking the Quranic verses out of context but they do not get into specifics. Show me how each verse quotes is misinterpreted and what its correct message is! Show me frame by frame, the fallacies in Geert Wilders' arguments. Tell me that Bin Laden & Co. are not Muslims cause they're not getting the Quran right!!

Here are some of the responses I've read/seen:

Schism: This is a short movie made by a Saudi blogger doing with the Bible what Fitna does with the Quran. His argument is one of two: a) the Bible has questionable verses too. b) you can take verses from any book out of context and make it look violent. Throughout his video, it just seemed to me that he was running out of material to showing that the Bible entices violence. Now the Bible has many problems but enticing violence is not among its main ones like it seems to be for the Quran. This blogger chose to attack another 'holy' book instead of refuting the arguments presented in Fitna... why??

Almouftinoun: This is a movie by the Arab European League responding to Fitna. In my opinion, the only thing going on for this movie is the music. This movie mainly shoots down the credibility of Geert Wilders, the film maker. However, it attempts to make dangerous, yet fallacious, argument that being anti-Islam is racist just as Nazism is racist... being anti-Jewish!! However, if what the rest of this movie says about Wilders is true, then he is in fact a racist. The film then moves on to show that Wilder has some ties with Israel and the Mossad. It then makes a bold statement: Zionism is the most aggressive form of racism today. The rest of the movie argues that Muslims are oppressed around the world, but ends taking a shot at the Talmud. Again, what has this movie done to rebuff the accusations made in Fitna on the Quran??? None.

Cairo Today: This is an Egyptian TV show that usually features different guests discussing religious topics and other. The host and the rest of the panel displayed a great deal of rage... unfortunately, nothing else. Some of the guests did mention that the verses were taken out of context and that the translation was coarse but they did not get into specifics. They basically just sat around and condemned the film and called for an action to be taken against the Netherlands.

Islamonline.net: More of the same here again. The official response of islamonline.net just states that the messages in Fitna are ignorant and false. Why??? Tell me why the movie is wrong... give me specifics, give me arguments, condemn all violence in the name of Islam. It only quotes a verse from Quran showing that it's all about peace & love or something to that effect. I'm afraid that's not enough. I did search the site for a point-by-point response but found none!!