I Can't Forget The Taste Of Your Mouth
(I wrote this post when I got back)
I never cry. Never. Though I am fairly emotional I think; I can let things occupy me for long periods of time. But I never cry. I never get angry. I never raise my voice. I never lose it. I just never let my emotions surface no matter how bad it is inside. I am very composed... well, except for my startle reactions :). I get caught off guard.
Last night was different though. I put my face in the pillow and cried in my bed. I just had the best 3 days ever.... so why was I crying? I'm not sure. Maybe cause it's over. Maybe just the sheer emotions. Maybe it was the goodbye. Maybe it was realizing how I felt. Maybe it was the craziness of the whole thing. Maybe it's not being able to act on what happened. The experience was dreamlike... too good to be true, yet it is true.
Well, here I am now with a wet pillow and a lot to ponder over. What do I do with what just happened? What does it all mean? How do I carry on now? It gives me a lump in my throat whenever I think about it. I feel like I'm tied down and cannot take action. Yep, I really am.
Till very recently I thought of my life as uneventful, but it seems I am having quite a bit of those life changing experiences recently. That was one of them no doubt about it.