By The Ways Of Bluetooth
Can't talk politics now so I'm gonna talk personal instead.
In all the ways possible in meeting a gf, Bluetooth is one that never crossed my mind. But it happened. I met Ouba by Bluetooth. Basically you keep your Bluetooth activated on your cellphone when at a cafe then try to match the name to the face. You watch the movements... you identify the person... you bluetooth flirt... you look... you smile. Strange isn't it?
Now that this is real, I gotta think of the consequences. We're in the ritual of 3 or more phone calls a day and have gone out. It's only been a week but I gotta think about it now before it developes and the stakes get higher. She's not my gf yet, but at this rate she will be very soon unless I decide otherwise.
There is a side issue to this relationship that probably needs a post on its own. Ouba's cousin, who is married and has a kid, is having some sort of a relationship with my best friend Volks (who has a gf by the way). Volks hooked up with her as I was hooking up with Ouba by Bluetooth as well. Volks is playing with fire, I know.
Ouba's a nice beautiful girl. She's easygoing, caring and funny. She's got a sincere laugh. She's got the Egyptian skin tone with kind eyes and hair that flows nicely when her hand moves through it. She has nice figure too.
My friend Tau once told me this: "we like the fact that we have a girlfriend more than we like the girlfriend herself." I don't want to fall into that trap. I'd like to have a gf, but I'd like to have one because I love the girl and not as entertainment. I don't want her to be my rebound or me hers.
Well, what's wrong with Ouba? Nothing is wrong with her as a person. It's just that as of now, I have no feelings for her beyond friendship. I'm not even getting the physical attraction though my friends think otherwise. I don't love her, and I don't see myself loving her in the future.
Why do I not have feelings for her? Well, we're on different levels of... thought, interest... etc. She cares more about clothes and jewelry than I do. I think more about life and ethics etc more than she does. I care more about music than she does.... or we care about different kinds of music.
How will she react when I tell her about my atheism? She'll surely freak out though I have hinted to it many times already. Will she understand me? Will she understand my opinions about life and relationships? about religion and faith? How will she react if she learns about this blog? or when she hears the music that I like? like Bjork & Radiohead? flamenco or klezmer music? She just will not get it... But is there a girl that might get all of this?
Everyday the girl is becoming attached and I'm not. I'm not feeling her. I'm sorry Ouba, it's something that I cannot control. I really don't want to hurt her, I care about her in that sense. I would hate to have her suffer from a break up. But how much am I going to sacrifice to prevent that from happening. Am I going to sacrifice having a cute gf for a few months so she doesn't get hurt? That sounds like the right thing to do, but how many guys out there can take that step?
I don't feel guilty going into this quite yet as it's only been a week. My excuse is I'm getting to know her. I think I'll give it just a little more time to be sure that I don't have feelings for her. But why can't I be like a self-respecting hormone-driven male and get at least a kiss out of this before it goes down? Well, I don't know yet... I might do that too.