Let's Call Him R

He's a cousin/friend of mine that just came to town with his newly-wed wife. He is a few years older than me and we've been somewhat close. He is a smart, very ambitious, successful guy. Not only that, he's quite handsome and has got a great personality. He's got the whole package pretty much.

Growing up, I always listened very carefully to what my parents said about what him. R did that, R did this. R got a girlfriend. R got a car. R got a summer job at a remote place. R finished university and got a job. He traveled the world through his job, from China to Sweden. He was the one I always looked up to. “When I grow up, I’m gonna do that” I said many times. And I’ve measured my accomplishments with his. I can't deny that I have sometimes felt jealous of him. How am I gonna match what he did?

I have since come to realize that me and him are somewhat different. Though our logic, morals are similar, we have our own ways of doing things. I take bigger risks where he wouldn't and he takes bigger risks where I wouldn't. So I am ok with not filling his shoes. I will find my own way of getting through life. I don't need a roadmap.

We have great respect for each other's ideas. I've taken his opinion many times and he's asked me for mine as well. You know when you're immersed in situation and can't imagine what it looks like from the outside? That's when I go to him. I know he's gonna understand my view and I know he's gonna be reasonable. He's done the same with me and shared some of his intimate issues. I can tell by the way he looks up and pauses to think about what I said before responding, that he values what I have to say.

When we talk, it usually ends up being a big talk. It's not big arguments where the other sides fiercely defends their point of view regardless of what you say. It's a very reasonable exchange, where both sides give ground and arrive at a common answer. I can remember a few of these big talks that spanned a few hours. Oh we've talked about many things including life, religion, women, marriage, friendship… etc.

He called me yesterday and said he wanted to get together today. I know there is something that he wants to say and it sounded serious. Just what is it? I asked him if I should get other people too but he said he just wanted to talk to me. Has something come up? What could it be? I don't think he wants to talk about his wife! If I had to guess I'd say maybe about an investment or a project that he’s thinking about. Maybe he found this blog and wants to talk to me about it. Maybe it's just casual get together. I have no idea!!