Reach Out And Touch Me Please
I had a nice trip. It was short but worth it for sure. Actually, I was sort of a guest to one of my From Your Lips All The Heavens Pour Out friends. I do not know her that well but she was super nice. I just can't believe how good she was to me considering we are not that close. Actually, she was too good to me even if we were best friends. She introduced me to her friends, showed me around, and even let me stay at her place for a night. Believe it or not, she didn't do this because she likes me, she did this because this is just how she is!! She would have done the same with anyone. She always reminds me of everything good in this world.
Anyways, that is not what I wanted to talk about. I got the chance to meet a lot of new people and probably made a couple of new friends. All the Hello and Goodbye hugs got me thinking though. In my daily life, I don't touch anyone! I don't touch people at work (although my boss tried to hug me today!), and I don't touch any of my friends, best or not. And No, shake hands do not count. I email, I blog, I chat, I talk on the phone... but none of that is touching. In fact, it is the exact opposite. We are so distant from one another.
So all the hugging reminded me of how much I miss the touch of another human being. There is something about the hug that is just so beautiful and pure. You're close to other person. You lean on them and they lean on you. Your heart is next to theirs. Your head is next to theirs. Your arms wrap around them, and theirs around you. Your bodies touch. You feel this warmth, of their body and emotion. You smell their scent. It's just something that cannot be put into words, but if I had to, I would say it's a brief moment of unconditional 'I Love You'.
Why aren't we touching one another? Have we built up so many barriers & shields around ourselves that we don't let anyone in, even for a hug? Why are we so afraid to show affection?
Maybe it's just me. Maybe you're touchy with your friends. Maybe I'm just suffering from the 'single-male' syndrome!
posted by MechanicalCrowds at 7:28 PM
22 Comments:
u're misrable MC.. a hug makes me feel warm, feel safe, in somes cases feel desired.. guess what.. when i feel so lonely and aweful.. i just go to mum, dad, sister or brother a tell them "ana 3ayza 7odn" it really makes me feel better! some times even putting ur hand on others' shoulder or holding hands makes u feel safe.. !!
9:03 PM
dude are you in Egypt? I feel like people there get OVERLY touchy sometimes...i find the constant kissing and hugging unnecessary.
If anything, i've been trying to limit the hugs to the absolute minimum!
1:30 AM
word of advice. dont go touching people at work
* roflmao*
sorry. lol i just had to say that.
i hug my friends all the time... you need it you know...even if its like a war cry and you bang into each other and make it look funny...its human touch ,, like you said.... we all need it.
naaah.. you will get introduced to your touchy inner self when the right friend comes along. it happened at your get-together didnt it!!
oh and *virtual hug*!!
5:54 AM
FreudianSlip,
Maybe it's a guy/girl thing. On an average day I hug about... hmm... let's see... about 0 people!
Grafxgurl,
It was weird, my boss never tried to hug me before! It was awkward.
I think I have a touchy inner self, but maybe I just don't show it. Where are you touchy friend?
*virtual hug back* (is that how it's done?!)
10:41 AM
walk down the road with your arsm wide open...if someone walks right into your arsm thats your touchy friend.
jk. lol.
aiyaaah.. get a girlfrienf lah. good to practice with.
12:34 PM
*arms*...and *girlfriend*...sigh. my typoism WILL be the death of me.
12:35 PM
I love your description of a hug...beautiful:)
2:09 PM
ahhh so you're a CLOSET touchy feely person. heh.
I knew a guy that couldnt even deal with having someone put a hand on his shoulder to emphasize a point in the conversation... so you're not that bad really if you can bring yourself to hug someone.
Personally if a female touches me a bit too much during a conversation I'm going to start thinking she's a lesbian and if a guy did, I'd think he was trying to talk me out of my knickers.
6:34 PM
This left me kinda sad...donno why...
First your perfect and true description of a friendly hug and then on the other hand this distance you experience and practize yourself in your daily life.
Me, I can hardly imagine a 'contact-free' friendship.
How consoling someone without holding her/him?
How congratulating, sharing happiness without a hug?
>---o---< feel hugged please :)
11:45 PM
Grafxgurl,
Are you saying I need practice? lol
Gitana,
I don't mind touching at all as long as the person isn't like super evil. I guess I don't take the initiative to touch people.
It seems, though, that you don't enjoy the touch of others without relating it to sexual interests. Have a little innocence for a second :)
Sara,
How often do you console/congratulate your friends? I just wish we could hug just because we want to.
I am afraid I can't feel hugged unless I feel the warmth of a human body... The only thing that might come close is hugging my pillow... which is really sad when you come to think about it!
7:29 AM
well, I guess you could say I have trust issues. I don't mind being touchy with either gender just as long as I dont feel I'm being constantly fondled. My friends and I will hug all the time, regardless of gender so I guess it's people I've just met I have touching problems with.
I think I've said touch a bit too much in this comment. Yalla one more for good measure - touch.
6:07 PM
lol La Gitana, touch++
MC, it makes me think that you have less female acquaintances/friends than boys - or not that, but you don't have a close friend. If you really yearn for a "honest" touch, you can find a lot of people around you who can hug and hold you tight. You just need to look a bit more closer.
Or like Grafxgurl, you need a girlfriend, pal. =P
Ah, see how linux is good for this? You can touch -t time anything you want ... =D
10:55 PM
yehia,
I have a few close friends but we don't hug without a good reason! I don't think they will react very positively if I told them I want to hug them, especially the guys... I'm looking around man and can't find anybody to hug. Anyways, the girlfriend thing is a possibility.
10:28 AM
Ah well I'd be worried if my male friend came and asked me to hug him, or *touch* him, lol.
But even if they do, it's not the same coming from a girl, and it's not the same regarding who hugs the other...
She doesn't need to be a partner, i am sure you have some close girl friends...
...don't you?
11:03 PM
yehia,
Do I have close girl friends? Hmm... the short answer would be No. I have had some in the past, though never for long periods... you think that's what I'm missing?
10:02 AM
i think that no normal boy can live without being surrounded by girls, they don't have to be your lovers, but at least your friends - so yea, you need to get to know more girls, just acquaintances and things will develop (in terms of friendship because you dont need to regard every walking girl as a love-target :P)
how about your university?
11:15 AM
yehia,
I said I have no CLOSE girl friends. For example, none of my best friends are girls. I do have casual girl friends, for example that one I mention in my original post.
7:09 PM
beautiful post!! if you were there right infront of me as i'm reading it i'd hug you. i may not know what i'm talking about but i think u need to practise, then again sometimes it's just awkward!!!
12:17 PM
YES! practice makes perfect and ALSO gets you doing it more!.
7:14 PM
Maat, thanks... this is where I use the shy simley!
Maat & grafxgurl, you'll see very soon why I need practice like you said!
7:51 AM
There is this woman at work who does exactly that. She’s wonderfully loving and after getting a hug from her on one occasion and a small rub on the back on another for no particular reason. It made me think how touching affects our mood. She’s my mummy’s age and perhaps that’s why I take it with a grain of salt but really…as humans we do that… we need to be touched… I’m sure you’ve read about the study where they put a baby monkey in a cage with a hard stationary metal object vs. another they put in a cage with a heated rocking doll like object. The study showed diverse effects on the monkey that couldn’t cuddle. So really… Hugs and kisses all round!
11:08 PM
with this theme in mind, i wrote a short story about it on my blog, ofcourse its not written very well but u'll get the msg, if u read it pls let me know what u think because all my blog commenters either ignored it or missed the point ... its called "The Sea Is So Wide And Your Boat Is So Small".
4:10 PM
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